Hello Mavens!

Today is a post about decisions.

The (often small) decisions we make to either build ourselves up or tear ourselves down.

A long time ago, I made the decision not to read design magazines.

Given that I have been a graphic designer for decades now, and design is a huge part of my life, many people are often surprised to hear this.

But early on in my career–when I was really insecure and struggling–I quickly realized that every time I finished flipping through the latest issue of Applied Arts, Azure or Wallpape r I felt the following:

Anxious
Crappy
Jealous
Deflated
Loser-esque

For many creatives, this is not the case. After curling up with a design magazine they feel inspired, motivated and suddenly they can’t wait to dive into their next project.

This was definitely not the case for me.

In fact, the more I looked at what other designers were doing, the worse I felt. I couldn’t help but go into major comparison mode and wonder why I should design anything at all since it will be crap compared to the stunning work I kept seeing across those glossy (or matte, depending on the decade!) magazine pages.

There was a part of me that felt pressure to read these magazines. I should see what is going on in the creative community, I should know who is blazing new trails… I should be able to simply appreciate others’ work and not be so hard on myself.

Should. Should. Should.

Should is the worst word in the English language.

There are no shoulds.

I could read the magazine. And I could not read the magazine.

I get to do make my own decisions as to what I read, listen to, and activites I participate in.

A while back I had a lovely client who was a new graphic designer and just starting out. She confided in me that after attending her first DesignThinkers graphic design conference, she felt completely depressed. It wasn’t because the RGD didn’t put on a fab event. It was because she felt overwhelmed by all of the talented designers and found herself thinking, “I could never be that good.” As someone who was new to the industry, it makes sense that the conference could be triggering. Even seasoned designers can have pangs of insecurity when totally immersed in the best of the best.

My gentle reminder to my client - it is ok not to attend DesignThinkers and it is ok not to want to attend.

If design magazines and conferences light you up then, by all means, incorporate them into your life. If they don’t, then let them go.

Even though today I am totally secure in my design abilities, I still don’t read magazines. I simply don’t feel compelled to do so.

I do browse certain creative blogs and IG feeds that inspire me. But I am super selective. If I find myself feeling crappy in any, way shape or form afterwards, I don’t go back. End of story. I decide what I need and when. And I honour those feelings. Every. Single. Day. I know this has been a small but important part of building my self-esteem up over the years.

Remember - you are the captain of your journey, Mavens.